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The Producers tells the story of a down-on-his-luck Broadway producer, Max Bialystock, and a nerdy, young accountant,
Leo Bloom, who concoct a scheme to raise thousands of dollars from backers and then put on a flop of a show. With all the
money that will be leftover, the pair will be rich! Only one thing goes wrong: the show is a gigantic hit!
January 30th - February 8th, 2009
New York, 1959. It`s the opening of a new Max Bialystock play called `Funny Boy`, a musical version of Hamlet. Everyone ends up
hating it and the show closes on opening night (Opening Night). Max, who was once called the King of Broadway, sings to a crowd of
down-and-outs of his past achievements and that he will return to form (King of Broadway).
The next day Leo Bloom, a mousy PA from the accounting firm Whitehall and Marks, arrives in Max`s office to look at his books.
However, a couple of seconds later, one of Max`s `investors` arrives, and he tells Leo to go wait in the bathroom until she leaves.
His investor, a little old lady who constantly repeats the phrase, `Hold Me, Touch Me` starts playing a sex game with Max
(The virgin milkmaid and the well-hung stableboy) which he later pauses and she gives him a check for his next play (which he hasn`t
yet produced and call `cash`). Leo comes out of the bathroom and reveals his lifelong dream to Max: he`s always wanted to be a
Broadway Producer. After a serious panic attack when Max touches his blue blanket, Leo calms down enough to give Max the news
that he has found an accounting error in his books: Max raised $12,000 for `Funny Boy`, but the play only cost $10,000. There`s
$2,000 unaccounted for. Max begs Leo to cook the books. `Look at me,` he pleads. Once the King of Broadway, now reduced to
romancing little old ladies to back him and wearing cardboard belts. Leo reluctantly agrees and returns to Max`s books. After some
calculations, he realizes that `under the right circumstances, a producer could actually make more money with a flop than he can
with a hit.` Max sits up, an idea forming in his unscrupulous head.
Leo explains. The IRS isn`t interested in a show that flopped, so a producer could raise a million dollars, put on a $100,000 flop
and keep the rest. Max proposes the ultimate scheme: `Step 1: We find the worst play ever written. Step 2: We hire the worst
director in town. Step 3: We raise two million dollars...One for me, one for you. There`s a lot of little old ladies out there! Step 4:
We hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway and before you can say Step 5, we close on Broadway, take our two
million and go to Rio.`
However, Leo refuses to help Max with his scheme and returns to work the books at Whitehall and Marks, even after much pleading
(We Can Do It). When he gets back to work, he daydreams of becoming a Broadway producer and `driv[ing] those chorus girls insane.`
(I Wanna Be a Producer). He realizes that his job is terrible, quits his job, and returns to Max (I wanna be a Producer Reprise/We
can Do it Reprise). Overnight, they look for the worst play ever written without much luck. Finally, Max finds the sure-fire flop:
`Springtime for Hitler, A Gay Romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden` written by Franz Liebkind. They head down to his home
in Greenwich Village to get the rights to the play. They discover Franz on the roof of his tenament with his Birds: Hilde, Heidi, Hans,
Heidrich and Adolf. After listening to the Nazi rave, Leo and Max are only able to get their contract signed after singing Adolf Hitler`s
favourite tune, Der Guten Tag Hop Clop and saying the Ziegfried Oath promising never to dishonour `the spirit and the memory of
Adolf Elizabeth Hitler.`
Leo and Max then go down to the townhouse of Roger De Bris, the worst director in New York and a flamboyant homosexual to boot.
At first, Roger and his `common law-assistant` Carmen Ghia decline the offer to direct because of the serious subject matter. Shows
should be more happy, bythe, bonney...gay, Roger avers. (Keep it Gay) Finally, after much persuading (and Tony-name dropping),
Roger agrees to do it, but only if the ending is changed so the Germans end up winning World War II. A celebratory Conga ensues. The
two finally arrive home where they meet a Swedish bombshell who wants to audition for their next play. Her name is Ulla Inga Hansen
Yansen Yallen Tallen Sweden Swanson. That`s her first name. Ulla for short. She auditions for them. (When You Got It, Flaunt It)
Bialystock and Bloom are floored, to say the least. They hire her to be their secretary/receptionist. Max then goes off to raise two
million dollars for `Springtime for Hitler` by calling on all the little old ladies in New York. (Along Came Bialy) Finally, after shtupping
every little old lady in the greater Broadway area, Max has raised the Two million. (Finale)
Leo and Ulla are left alone for a little while in Max`s redecorated office (redecorated by Ulla during the intermission) and they start
to fall in love. (That Face) Leo, who has always decided to stay away from any relationship, breaks his own rule and starts to go out
The auditions for finding a terrible Hitler go unsuccessfully. One terrible actor after another is shooed away by Roger. After Franz is
outraged by one auditioner`s rendition of Haben Sie Gehort Das Deutsche Band?, he performs his own jazzy version and he is given the
part. Opening night for `Springtime for Hitler` arrives (It`s Bad Luck to Say Good Luck on Opening Night) and everyone is ready,
until Franz falls down the stairs and ironically breaks his leg. Roger is the only one who knows the part of Hitler and he rushes to
dressing room to get ready.
The Curtain rises, and Max and Leo watch their failure unfold (Springtime for Hitler). Unfortunately, Roger`s performance is so
campy and so Garland-esque, the audience mistake the show for a comedy and it becomes the talk of the town.
Back at the office, Max and Leo are near-suicidal. (Where Did We Go Right?) Roger and Carmen come to congratulate the Producers
of the new smash, only to find them fighting over the accounting books. Just then, Franz bursts in, outraged by Roger`s potrayal of
his beloved Fuhrer and wielding a pistol. The police hear the commotion and arrive, taking away Franz, Max and the accounting books.
However, Leo hides and Ulla finds him and convinces him to take the two million dollars and run off to Rio as Max had planned (That
In prison, Max receives a postcard from Leo and feels (Betrayed) and, in his big eleven o`clock number recounts the whole play
(including intermission). At his trial Max pleads guilty, but then Leo and Ulla arrive and tell the judge that Max is a good man who
would never hurt anyone. (`Til Him`) The judge is touched by this and decides not to separate the two...so he sends the two to spend
time in Sing Sing prison for 5 years, along with Franz. In prison, they write a new musical entitled `Prisoners of Love` which goes to
Broadway ( Prisoners of Love ) (Starring the stars of Springtime, Roger and Ulla) when they are pardoned by the Governor. Leo and
Max continue to produce Broadway musicals and, at the end, the two fully-fledged kings of Broadway walk off into the sunset.(Leo &
Max) After the curtain call, there is one last song with the cast telling the audience to leave. (Goodbye)
King of Old Broadway
We Can Do It
I Wanna Be a Producer
We Can Do It (Reprise)
In Old Bavaria
Der Guten Tag Hop Clop
Keep It Gay
When You`ve Got It, Flaunt It
Along Came Bialy
Haben Sie Gehrt Das Deutsche Band?
Opening Night (Reprise)
It`s Bad Luck to Say Good Luck on Opening Night
Springtime for Hitler
Where Did We Go Right?
Prisoners of Love